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How to handle a difficult conversation with an employee? Take preparation, use active listening, follow conversational structure, and don’t react but respond.
Handling a difficult conversation means talking about sensitive issues that can feel uncomfortable. Poorly handling a difficult conversation can cause unresolved workplace conflicts, poor performance, trust issues, etc. But knowing doesn’t make the conversation any easier for most leaders.
So, how to handle a difficult conversation with an employee? Preparation is the first thing that you want to focus on. Then choose the right time and place. Following a conversational structure and active listening techniques is also important. While talking with the employee, focus on the behaviour, not character.
This blog post will teach you the strategies to handle a difficult conversation with an employee and achieve a positive outcome. Read on.
When you understand the reason behind a difficult conversation, it becomes easier for you to navigate and lead the conversation. Here are some of the common causes of a difficult conversation at work:
Managing a difficult conversation is important to deal with any work-related problem before it gets worse.
If any employee has broken any rules, any workplace ethics have been violated, or any kind of problems arise, it needs to be resolved. And resolving these issues means having a difficult conversation. So, if you skip a difficult conversation, it can damage your reputation as a manager or leader, and it can also affect the company.
When you have a clear idea about the reasons behind a difficult conversation, you will understand the importance better.
Difficult conversations at work are about sensitive or emotional topics. These conversations can be uncomfortable and cause disagreement with your employees. Because difficult conversations are usually about poor performance, behaviour issues, termination and much more. That’s why most people try to avoid having these conversations.
Avoiding a tough conversation with your employee is not very helpful for either the employee or the company. Confronting the issues will bring a solution and help both parties. That’s why not everybody is eligible to handle a difficult conversation with an employee.
Understanding the reasons why you have to handle difficult conversations at work is essential. When you have a clear understanding of the reasons, you can work on resolving or confronting a tough conversation easily.
Let’s take a look at some common reasons for difficult conversations at work:
Having difficult conversations with employees can feel uncomfortable for both the manager and the employee. Because this type of conversation provokes strong emotions. But it’s necessary to handle tough conversations.
Handling a difficult conversation with your employee needs to be in a structured form. You can not go unprepared, must follow a conversational structure and much more.
We did extensive research on workplace communication and identified these points to follow when handling difficult conversations with employees. Whether you work in health and social care, safeguarding, IT & software, or care industry these techniques are applicable everywhere. Let’s take a look:
Preparation before any sensitive discussion with an employee is essential. For preparation, first you have to understand the behaviour of the employee that you are going to talk to. Based on their expected behaviour, you can prepare notes and questions.
Your preparation also varies depending on the topic that you will be discussing. Because of that, you must know your objective to make the conversation more focused on relevant topics. Looking into some of the difficult conversations at work examples can also help you.
Preparing yourself before a tough conversation is also a sign of professionalism and helps you to stay confident. Whether you are a manager, a leader, or a supervisor, preparing before a difficult conversation gives you the advantage of leading it.
You can not just start a difficult conversation anywhere you want. It needs to be done in private, such as a meeting room where the employee feels comfortable.
Avoid raising your tone. Even if the conversation is about something that is upsetting to you, maintaining a neutral tone or voice keeps the conversation professional. This also helps to create opportunities for the employee to describe their opinion. The right tone also helps you to provide constructive feedback.
It’s also important to choose the right time for a challenging conversation. Because discussing sensitive topics during stressful periods can cause more workplace conflict rather than solving it.
As a manager or leader, when you are having a tough conversation with a difficult employee, it’s important to follow a structured approach. This helps to make a challenging conversation more productive. Plus, a structured approach helps both parties stay focused on the topic while remaining fair and respectful.
First of all, start the conversation with “What happened?” This means you should not assume your perspective is always right. You must give a chance to describe the other person’s point of view.
For example, if someone is late, don’t tell them that they are late. Ask the reason and also help them to see what the consequences of him/her being late have on the team.
Next, talk about how you feel about what happened. Don’t jump to conclusions based on your assumptions. For this question, your own belief. Try to understand your own feelings and the feelings of your employee. Talk about these feelings calmly without judging and blaming.
For example, if your employee has ignored any of your messages, don’t tell them to their face. Instead, you can say that your din’t get the proper response, so if there is anything that has been bothering him/her. This gives your employee a chance to explain themselves and make the conversation as intended.
Finally, consider how the conversation affects each person’s self-image. If you raise a question about your employees’ work, they might feel like you are saying that they are not doing their job properly. This can make them feel threatened or defensive. That’s why challenging conversations must be handled carefully.
For example, if someone didn’t do their task properly, handle it sensitively. You can tell them that there is a lot that can be improved and offer them help. This gives your employee a sense that you are trying to help them and reduces defensiveness.
During a difficult conversation with an employee, you must listen carefully and pay attention. You cannot miss any details, as the topics are sensitive, such as performance reviews, workplace behaviours, or personal concerns. That’s why using active listening techniques is important, such as:
Using these techniques helps you to understand the full situation and respond accordingly.
In a difficult conversation with an employee, you should talk about the specific action they took. This means your lines must carry a certain tone which will not affect their personality.
If any of your employees is not performing well or is difficult to handle, do not raise questions about their character. If you do this, it will turn out that you are personally attacking them, which is not a sign of professionalism. What you can do is ask them about the reason behind their behaviour.
For example, if someone is late for a meeting, just tell them that they are late for the meeting. And then you can ask the specific reasons for them being late. This also gives them a chance to describe themselves and helps to keep the conversation professional.
In challenging conversations, it’s important to respond but not react. When you are having a tough conversation with an employee, sometimes you might get carried away with emotions and react. This could have a negative effect on both you and the employee.
So, when you’re in a difficult conversation with an employee, it’s important to respond thoughtfully. But how can you do that? Take a moment before answering or giving your statement, and keep your tone calm and professional.
For example, if the employee says something that is not correct, then don’t stop them. Let them finish first and then respond. In this case, to manage the situation, you have to address their problems and then come to a solution.
The action plan for ending a difficult conversation varies depending on the topic. But usually, a clear action plan includes:
In simple words, do not end a tough conversation with a decision. End it with a clear next step so that your employee knows what the plan is.
Usually, a difficult conversation with an employee takes place when you want to talk about their discipline, work ethic, or missing deadlines. In these kinds of situations, you can not take impulsive decisions. You have to consider the legal and ethical rules.
For example, if you want to dismiss any of your employees, you must follow the employee dismissal rules. Plus, you must have a clear understanding of the rights of a worker. Not following these rules is considered unfair to your employee. This can result in a tribunal award, which also damages the company’s reputation.
So when you are in a tough conversation with any employee, be transparent. Explain to them why you are making the decision, and that you are doing everything by the book.
So you can now understand that handling a difficult conversation with an employee needs proper preparation. With certain skills, you can create proper planning.
First of all, you must be good at communication. A communication skills training helps you to identify which areas you need to improve and how many different ways you can communicate with the person opposite to you.
Typically, a leader, manager or supervisor handles a difficult conversation with an employee. The leadership training helps you to handle any difficult situation professionally. In tough conversations, any conflict can arise. The conflict management training also helps you identify and predict any conflicts.
Dealing a moody employee takes patience. Talk to them in private. Set clear expectations, offer support, and provide constructive feedback to help the employee manage their emotions while maintaining a professional workplace environment.
Signs that an employee is struggling include: decreased productivity, frequent absences, changes in behaviour or mood, lack of engagement, and poor communication. Identifying these signs early allows managers to provide support, guidance, or resources to help the employee overcome challenges and improve performance.
The five pillars of conversation are: preparation, clarity, active listening, empathy, and follow-up. These principles help managers and employees communicate effectively, resolve conflicts, build trust, and ensure that discussions, including difficult conversations, are constructive and focused on solutions rather than blame.
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Get Access NowSo, if you are a manager, leader, supervisor or HR, it’s important for you to be aware of the techniques of handling a difficult conversation.
How to handle a difficult conversation with an employee? Start by preparing before the conversation starts. Choosing the right time, place, and tone is also essential. Following a conversational structure gives you the advantage during a tough conversation. Use active listening techniques and focus on the behaviour of the employee, not their character.
By following these steps, you can easily handle a difficult conversation with any employee in any industry.
High Skills Training is a UK-based CPD training provider offering structured online courses and educational resources across health and social care, business administration, and professional development, supporting recognised standards and ongoing workforce development.
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